Mail-Order Surprise

I have to admit….I don’t check my mail every day. I usually check it every other day or so, but it all kind of depends on what time I come home. We have those community boxes where the number of your box isn’t the number of your house, and all the boxes independently lock, so I take my chances and figure I’m not getting anything good enough to steal.

So, anyway last night I checked my mail and among the grocery store ads, Comcast cable solicitations and a few late-coming Christmas cards for my room mate there was an envelope that caught my attention. My name and address were typed on a label affixed to the front and it was kind of bulky and ripped, no return address, no postmark that I could discern. Being curious, I opened the envelope while still in my car, not even waiting to drive the rest of the way home. Inside was this poem with a message along the bottom of the paper:

I have a list of people I know
All written in a book
And every year at Christmastime
I go and take a look
And that is when I realize
That those names are a part
Not of the book they’re written in
But of my very heart
For each name stands for someone
Who has crossed my path some time
And in that meeting they’ve become
A treasured friend of mine
And once you’ve met some people
The years can not erase
The memory of a pleasant word
Or a friendly face
So when I send a Christmas card
That is addressed to you
It’s because you’re on that list
Of folk I’m indebted to
And you are one of many folk who
In times past I’ve met
And happen to be one of those
I don’t want to forget
And whether I have known you for many years or few
In some way you have a part in
Shaping things I do
This, the spirit of Christmas, that
Forever and ever endures
May it leave its richest blessing
In the hearts of you and yours.

Please take this gift as a small thank you for being who you are. In return, all I ask is that you allow me to remain anonymous and to have a wonderful Christmas season.

The bulky item was a small business-sized tin with a gift certificate inside. Curios-er and curious-er. There was a phone number on the back of the gift card and a pin number to call and access the card amount. I figured it was a very nice gesture (I misted up while I read the poem), but that the gift card was for maybe $5. It was not. It was significantly more, and I am stunned.

I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about who may have sent this and why, but every time I come up with a possible “suspect” it seems completely un-likely to be them. It is, quite frankly, driving me a little crazy.

So to whoever sent me the lovely gift:
1. Thank you so much; I am very touched, and
2. Show yourself!

Happy Birthday, Nanners!

Well she finally arrived at 1:04 p.m. after 14 hours of labor and a couple of scary moments. 7 lbs 14 oz, 20 in long, dark hair and perfectly healthy. Welcome to the family, little one!

Holiday Update

My Christmas was wonderful; I hope y'all had a great holiday as well. I got 5 beautiful Steven Meyers prints and a lot of gift cards to a variety of (what else) book stores.

My Christmas-born Grandmothers celebrated her 90th birthday yesterday and will probably live to see 95. She is now living in an assisted living facility and not lucid very often, but she has surprised us all with her resilience.

The elusive Nanners has not yet made an appearance, although she is making her parents miserable with lots of contractions and a couple of visits to the hospital. N&K can hardly wait for their bundle of joy.

I am getting ever closer to my 50 books in 2005 goal. I finished The Silver Chair and The Horse and His Boy both by C.S. Lewis and both 217 pages.

Last, but not least, congratulations to my roommate, L, and her brand-new fiancee, N. He is a really great guy and I'm very happy for them both. (Although, I think N is definitely getting the better end of the deal!) Wedding plans are tentatively set for late spring...a very long engagement in Utah/Mormon-time.

48/50 17096/15000

The War on Christmas

Rarely do I comment on anything political here. I am not deeply involved nor qualified enough to comment on what is going on in Washington, but there are a great many things that make my head nearly explode; anyone who knows me can vouch for my passion and frustration with certain points of view. This one though, well, this one I have to talk about.

If you ever listen to any of the right wing radio talk shows all they talk about is the war on Christmas. How so many stores won't wish their customers Merry Christmas, how city trees have been renamed "Holiday Trees", etc. In fact, I have repeatedly listened to a co-worker complain and complain about how to be "politically correct" he has to use Happy Holidays. "Well screw that!" he says, "I'll say Merry Christmas to whomever I want!"

How do basically good people fail to understand that Happy Holidays isn't about being politically correct; it isn't about the undermining of Christmas; it isn't about non-Christians taking over the world. It is about understanding that there are those who do not share my religion and including them in my wishes for a wonderful season. After all, wasn't Christ all about inclusion, not exclusion; wasn't He about loving your neighbor and respecting them, and that by forcing your Merry Christmas on someone you are behaving in a decidedly un-Christian way? If you really believe Christ is the reason for the season then why aren't you thankful that stores aren't using the birthday of your Lord and Savior to sell crap?

I grew up in a very Christian area (not only Christian, but nearly 100% Mormon). I had met a couple of Catholics, a handful of Protestants, but never anyone *gasp* Jewish. In fact, I was 29 years old before I met someone Jewish. And now I wonder how many times I may have offended or added to a burden because I unthinkingly excluded someone. I read Hilary's post and wonder what that must feel like be force-fed Christmas music, Christmas trees, Christmas gifts, and Merry Christmas-ed every where you go.

So, while I don't claim to be a very good Christian, I will take the time to say:

Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kawanza
Season's Greetings
Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas

May there be peace in our hearts and throughout the world, regardless of what holiday you celebrate or what religion you practice.

My New Favorite Song

Sarah McLachlan

"Song For A Winter's Night"

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top
The snow is softly fallin'
The air is still within the silence of my room
I hear your voice softly callin'

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead
My glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page
The words of love you sent me

If I could know within my heart
That you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
Upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim
The shades of night are liftin'
The mornin' light steals across my windowpane
Where webs of snow are driftin'

If I could only have you near
To breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love
And to be once again with with you
To be once again with with you

Botanical Update

The Christmas bulbs I planted should be blooming, but I'm not having much luck with either of the Amaryllis I planted. One is not growing at all (and I can't figure out why) and the other has sprouted several tall green stalks but nothing that looks like it will bloom.

The paper whites, however, have started to bloom already and they look awesome! One thing I did not know is that they have a very *unique* smell that I'm not sure I like, but they do look lovely.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Really, I enjoy any Christmas with clear roads...so I'm actually hoping for either no snow, or snow that only falls on grass. I did, however, just finish watching one of my favorite Christmas specials, White Christmas. It is one of the 3 shows that I MUST watch every Christmas season. I watched my guilty pleasure, A Very Brady Christmas on Saturday. Now I just have to pop in Christmas Eve on Sesame Street and I've completed my "must see *Christmas* TV"!

Friday brought the long awaited ultrasound of K&S, but no known sex of the baby to be. Such a shy, modest little one. Good news, baby is healthy....bad news, boy or girl? nobody knows. They've scheduled another test next week.

Friday night I went to dinner with some of my family, followed by a movie. We saw Chronicles of Narnia...and I really enjoyed it. I liked that it was very faithful to the book, and I enjoyed the way the kids looked like regular people, but everything else in Narnia (CGI effects) looked vaguely video-game-ish. I've heard some people were distracted by the effects, but I thought Narnia should look slightly un-real.

Saturday I finished book #46 for the year, Whisper of Evil by Kay Hooper. The first book in her psychic detectives series...I really liked it, but was also very creeped out by it. It was very unsettling; I think perhaps I shouldn't read her any more. We'll see how long that lasts. 392 pages

In my growing desperation to meet my 50 books goal, the next 3 books on my list are all part of the Chronicles of Narnia. Good books, quick reads...I'm still not sure what my final book will be, but it will be short. I WILL reach my goal!

Saturday was little S' funeral. His parents have been incredibly strong throughout the whole ordeal and have been an inspiration to all around them. They have handled a devastating tragedy with dignity, strength, hope and peace. I wish I were that strong as I face adversity. The hospital is doing some testing to figure out what caused him to stop breathing. Hopefully, the find the cause and are able to prevent this happening to any future T&D children.

We are anxiously awaiting the birth of "Nanners"...she is due Christmas Eve, but K is ready for her to come NOW! She'll be the 12th "nubbin" and I'm very excited for her arrival. Guaranteed she'll be spoiled rotten by Aunt Caoimhe.

46/50 16622/15000

Deepest Sympathy

T&D's week started out with such great joy and hope and ended with tragedy. On Tuesday, they welcomed their first child, a beautiful baby boy into this world. Not long after he quit breathing. Nobody is sure how long he was down or what caused this tragedy, but after another "incident" the MRI came back showing massive and irreversible brain damage.

They had to make the terrible decision to remove life support. Sunday afternoon, the men stood around his tiny bassinet in the NICU, placed their hands on his tiny head and gave him and name and a blessing...telling him his work here was done and his return to his Father in Heaven would be a peaceful one. Then they disconnected the ventilator.

As of this posting, little S is hanging on. T&D were prepared for him to stay for several hours, but he is stubborn little guy. After assessing his condition the doctor told them he could last possibly a couple of days and that if he survived the night they could take him home.

What a terrible tragedy and my heartfelt sympathy, compassion and condolences go out to them and their family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Busy, Busy

It has been an incredibly busy couple of weeks. We had our Utah office holiday party last Tuesday at a great little authentic Mexican restaurant. Unfortunately, Tuesday was also the first full-blown snowstorm of the year, so turnout was a little bit low. "More drink tickets for everyone else," I say...Especially since we all knew we were going to be sitting there for at least a couple of hours until the roads were salted and plowed.

Wednesday I flew to Boise (I know, I know, try not to be jealous) for the Idaho office holiday party. We went to a nice, neighborhood bar and then walked down the street to watch the Steelheads from a suite. (Actually, we had 2 suites to wander between.) Sadly, the Steelheads lost, but the fun part of the evening came while trying to get the 3 (literally falling down) drunks back to the hotel safely. Luckily, there were plenty of *mostly* sober drivers to go around.

Thursday, it was back to Salt Lake and a rush to finalize plans for yet another party (this one for vendors and clients), scheduled for next week.

Friday, I had plans to grab dinner with my brother and sister-in-law, but they had to cancel, last minute.

Saturday, I attended a baby shower for my SIL. She is due Christmas Eve and they are expecting a little girl. We have already christened her "Nanners" and when my 3-year-old niece says it I just melt. After the shower I headed out to Podunk-ville
USA to babysit the nubbins. Since it was nearly bedtime, it was a really easy job for me! My favorite little nephew was all excited to show me a surprise. He had looked up his name in one of those baby name books and wanted me to see its meaning. His excitement is so contagious...we spent some time looking up all the names in his family.

Sunday, resting, relaxing, dinner at my folks, and watching the Survivor finale with a big group. I hadn't been a very faithful viewer this season, but I was happy for Danni...although any of the final four could have won.

Last but not least, a finished Prince Caspian, second book in the Chronicles of Narnia. I cannot believe I never read these books before, but I an really enjoying (and probably appreciating them more) reading them now. 216 pages


45/50 16230/15000

50 Books Update

I am seriously way behind on my reading, but hope to catch up before the end of the year. Regardless, I've finished The Historian by Elizabeth Kosova. It was absolutely intriguing. All about the hunt for Drakulya and the dangerous nature of that search. As with any 600 page book there were unnecessary parts that could have been shortened or taken out completely, but overall I was hooked start to finish. However, I was limited to reading the book during my lunch hour as I had vaguely disturbing dreams if I read it near bedtime. Not necessarily scary dreams, but unusual nonetheless. 642 pages

Next Up:
Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis
Predator, Patricia Cornwell
The Egyptologist, Arthur Phillips
Whisper of Evil, Kay Hooper
The Big Over Easy, Jasper Fforde


44/50 16014/15000

Unusual Quiz

This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what's so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. Try to do so without any coaching.

Go Team!

I went to the Jazz/Pacers game last night with some friends. We had good seats...lower bowl 15th row on the corner by the basket. It was a pretty pathetic showing (Jazz lost 60-84); it honestly looked like nobody was putting any energy into their effort, but we still managed to have a good time.

First up, dinner at Iggy's. I had never been there before, but I will go back. I had the Chicken Philly and it was delicious. The dipping sauce for the fries was especially good...kind of spicy/sweet.

Then we headed over to the Delta Center on the *free* bus...got there just in time for tip off. At half time we wandered up to the suite level where we managed to bum free drinks and meet up with some other friends. Then back to our seats for the entirely uneventful 2nd half.

Like I said, good seats, boring game, but a good time was had by all!

Weekend Stuff

It has been an extremely busy and productive Sunday morning. I have to admit that usually on Sundays I lounge around, watch movies, maybe read a book, finish up laundry, etc.; nothing very ambitious.

This morning however I made cookies (pumpkin spice), planted 2 amaryllis and 4 narcissus, cleaned the kitchen and *started* laundry. I don't think I've spent that much time in my kitchen since I moved here 3 years ago. I feel very accomplished right about now!

My folks have always taken us out to dinner for our birthday (and after marriage for the anniversary), but they have fallen seriously behind. So, they decided to set 2 dates to take groups of us to dinner. Last night, group 1 went to Brick Oven. It is my absolute favorite restaurant. A good time was had by all.

On our way home from dinner it started to snow. And snow. And snow. This is really our first snow of the season. YAY! and BOO! Everything looks so beautiful, and I'm really glad it happened on a Saturday (thereby avoiding the commuting nightmare), today it is cold and windy. A good day to stay inside, eat warm pumpkin spice cookies, and plant Christmas flowers, no?

Christmas *Music* is Here

Tonight I pulled out my Christmas CDs for the first time this year. I think you cannot have a proper Christmas album or concert with the following songs:

Still, Still, Still
Greensleeves
O Holy Night
Silent Night

If O Come, O Come Emmanuel is thrown in, I'll literally be transported to Heaven. I love! Christmas music.

A "Very Special" 5 Things

Thanksgiving Version:

1-I am so thankful that I have such wonderful people in my life, friends and family both. They are all so wonderful and I am extremely lucky to have them.

2-I am thankful for my home and the comfort and experience it has provided me for the last 3 years. Being a homeowner has taught me a lot of things about myself and my ability to take of pretty much anything that gets thrown my way....HOAs, flooding dishwashers, installation of ceiling fans, etc.

3-I am thankful for my job. Yes, there are definitely somedays I want a new one, and yes, there are somedays I want to beat some sense into the management, but overall, it is a great place to work. I also spent 6 months without work of any kind, and I know, first hand, how terrible that is.

4-I am grateful to be on the "downside" of my debt reduction plan. That's right, I am more than halfway to a debt-free life. That feels so good.

5-I am finally free and clear of TRB. I cannot tell you how empowering that feels.

Quote of the Day

"The thing that most haunted me that day, however, as I closed my notebook and put my coat on to go home, was not my ghostly image of Dracula, or the description of impalement, but the fact that these things had--apparently--actually occurred. If I listened too closely, I thought, I would hear the screams of the boys, of the "large family" dying together. For all his attention to my historical education, my father had neglected to tell me this: history's terrible moments were real. I understand now, decades later, that he could never have told me. Only history itself can convince you of such a truth. And once you've seen that truth--really seen it--you can't look away."

--Elizabeth Kostova, The Historian

Pitstop: Salt Lake City

I cannot believe that I work 3 blocks away from the Library and I didn't see the Amazing Race production or racers there. I drive passed it twice a day for goodness sake!

What was with Miss Latina Utah serving as the greeter? Was Rocky unable to do it? (Lord knows, he wouldn't miss a chance for free publicity for himself.)

And Weavers...I a.)believe you are always in the position where everybody dislikes you, you are just to dumb to realize it, and b.)Utah hates you, too.

50 Books Update

I’ve finished Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt and I have to say that while it started really slowly (good, but slow) it just got better and better. Meeting all the interesting “characters” and getting a feeling for the deep south makes me want to move myself right down to Savannah and , at the same time, makes me want to run as far away as possible.

Deep down I fantasize about living in the Deep South, in a small town with big porches, sweet tea, and where everybody knows everybody. I want to smell Jasmine and Magnolia and complain about the kudzu and local politicians while sitting on my front porch swing sipping a cocktail or lemonade. Realistically, I think I might go crazy in that environment, but I still dream about it often. John Berendt does an absolutely fabulous job of describing both the charm and the crazy of such small, southern towns. I loved it, and now, I must see the movie. 388 pages

Currently reading:

The Historian (and loving it, as well)

Next up:
The Egyptologist
Predator
Wicked


43/50 15372/15000

Windows to the Soul

Blue-Gray eyes...they should have their own category.


You chose grey eyes.
You are one of those people who like to joke around
a lot, and try to stay positive. Most of the
time though, you feel misunderstood or
underestimated, even sometimes lonely. Most
people who know you though, would not think you
were lonely at all. You tend to be a bit
snobby, and if someone puts you down, youre
ready to act back.


The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla


You chose blue eyes.
You're a very smart, intelligent person. You like
to take things apart, and see how they work,
and sometimes put them back together again. In
your class, you're probably the student who
raises your hand the most, soaking up all
knowledge for future purposes. Sometimes you
can be a bit of a know it all, and you kind of
always have to be right.


The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

Overhead At Dinner

After I walked out on the EVIL I went to a restaurant to dine. The family a couple of booths down were having a loud conversation that included the following:

"They will JEW you down to the penny...and we totally got GYPPED!"

Is that something civilized people should be saying in a very public place, and saying it loudly as well? Do they think they are racist or anti-semitic, or do they think it is just a phrase that everyone uses? The girl who said this, no more than 18, with a 20-something boyfriend and parents in their 50s. Good job, Mom and Dad, you have raised quite the daughter!

5 Things

1-I have grass...an actual lawn, covering my backyard! It is lovely and green and soft, and it means that as soon as the roofer comes this house is officially up for sale.

2-I was invited to a black tie fundraising event for a local charity. It was very fancy with lots of very important people in Utah religion and politics. Regardless of how much I don't live the Mormon religion, it was still cool to have dinner with the First Presidency. (Although, the food, not so good.)

3-I have been off work for several days (tomorrow is my last day of freedom). It has been wonderfully relaxing to be able to lounge around watching movies and playing zoo tycoon. Tomorrow's finale includes 2 movies...I haven't decided for sure what they'll be, although I'm pretty sure one will be Derailed.

4-My parents had a b-day dinner for one of my "good" sisters-in-law tonight. I walked in, saw the EVIL sister-in-law's coat and purse and turned around and walked right out. I hadn't seen her since I found out she told her daughter not to hug me anymore and was afraid I might lose my temper. (That would have been very, very bad, but very, very satisfying.) I went back after dinner for cake and ice cream when I knew there would be other family members there to serve as a buffer, but she better keep her mouth shut good and tight whenever I am around, or she will definitely be called on her shit.

5-What with the viewing, funeral and other family stuff the end of October, beginning of November, I am way behind on my reading. I just finished The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Unbelievably I have never read the Chronicles of Narnia and decided I need to get that done. How does a person get to be 32 years old without reading them? I don't know, but it's an oversight that is easily corrected. 186 pages

Currently Reading:
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Next Up:
The Historian
Predator
The Egyptologist
Wicked

42/50 14984/15000

A meme

From Erin:

The fifth sentence of my 23rd post.

I arrived at the Salt Lake airport, ummm, late, so it was a mad dash to make my plane.

Whiskey for My Men...

Beer for the horses...

From Stephanie:


""Which cocktail are you?""
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday night I was obligated to go to an office dinner. Some out-of-town big wigs were in town and it was made clear that funeral or no funeral, my attendance was required. When I arrived at the restaurant I immediately ordered a margarita. Eyebrows around the room shot up because my co-workers have never seen me drink.

"Is that virign?" I was repeatedly asked. When I answered no, they all acted quite astonished at this shocking turn of events. I figure when I have to bury a 17 year old, I am entitled to a drink or two or several.

Happy Birthday!

To ML, who turned 9 and has the dubious honor of having his birthday the day after mine. So close, yet so far away.

Goodbye

It is still a great day to be alive, but since Friday everyday has been increasingly difficult and increasingly more appreciated...

Friday afternoon a co-worker approached me and said, “I don’t know if it is my place to tell you, but I just got a message from Margaret and B found Drew in the garage. Caoimhe, he killed himself.”

Stunned silence, followed, by “Oh, God.” An absolutely gorgeous, talented, bright 17-year old finally lost his long battle with depression and took his only way out. He is my cousin. Our families have always been close. His father got me my job and his encouragement in a very difficult time helped save me from Drew’s fate.

I began, in earnest, my battle with depression 5 years ago....looking back I certainly displayed symptoms in my teens, but chalked it up to regular teenage angst. 3 years ago, in January 2003 while others were resolving to lose 10 pounds and exercise more, I resolved to end my life.

The thing about despair is that it isn’t sadness; it is nothingness. You cannot adequately describe the absolute lack of anything, everything. There is no sadness, no anger, no hate, no love, no happiness, and no fear in despair. There is nothing, nothing at all. After my decision was made, I set about putting my affairs in order. I gathered my finances, wrote letters to each member of my family, and finally, after months of nothingness, felt something.

But what I felt wasn’t hope, wasn’t fear, wasn’t sadness. What I felt was the absolute rightness of my decision; I felt taking my life was to be a sacrifice. I was sacrificing myself to spare my family any worry, any burden, any sadness I had caused them. I knew, absolutely and without question that this was the best solution for everybody. I felt that God wanted and understood my actions...heart, mind and soul I KNEW this was the right decision. Suicide wasn’t the easy way out; it was the only way out.

It was pure, dumb luck that I didn’t complete my plan. It was the last minute selfishness of wanting to see the nubbins grow up, to make sure they were told how much I loved them. It was a stranger showing up on my porch with encouraging words and comfort from my Father in Heaven. Maybe it was so I could explain all this to Drew’s family while they are angry and confused by his actions.

I still struggle with depression. There are still days where everything still seems hopeless and I wonder how much longer I can live like this, but I haven’t again traveled to that dark and terrifying abyss where the only right thing to do is cease to live. I know that if I ever stand on that edge again, I will certainly not come back. I know with the utmost certainty that if I had to fight this battle at 17; I would have lost.

I also know with utmost certainty, that when Drew took that final irrevocable step, legions of angels were there to spare him the final moments of agony, to usher him to the veil where his grandfather would embrace him and lead him to generations of loved ones who will heal his heart and soul. I know that he safe, that he is cared for, that he is loved. I know that he will not be judged on that last desperate act, that he will be healed and forgiven, that I will see him and embrace him again...and we will both be whole.

Rest in peace, Drew. You are loved, you are missed, and you are understood.

It's a Great Day to Be Alive

I got home from work just in time to watch LOST (which is cause enough for celebration) and waiting for me was (were?:

The Signals specical Holiday catalog,

The Met's Holiday catalog, and

My pre-ordered Alias - The Complete Fourth Season.


Life is good right now.

Lost in Translation

Random things I learned while watching part of Lost with my Korean speaking brother.

1-He was very impressed with the Korean. So going with native-speaking actors was a really good choice.

2-Jin speaks a lower class of Korean; while Sun uses a more middle-class style. Again, he was impressed that they accurately represented how Korean is really spoken by people of different classes.

3-Jin is hilarious. When he is sitting on the rock watching Ana-Lucia and Bernard(?) trying to fish he says, “You’re doing it wrong, aren’t you? If you keep doing it like that you’ll all die!” Then he throws his net into the water and catches a net-ful of fish. When J translated that...the inflection he used...I almost feel off the couch laughing.

50 Books Update

I've recently finished:

The English Assassin by Daniel Silva 386 pages and

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Kidd Monk 332 pages.

The English Assassin was my least favorite Silva book thus far, and I really enjoyed The Mermaid Chair. Falling in love with a Benedictine Monk...pretty spectacular story.

Next up: Pirate by Ted Bell

41/50 14798/15000

Baptism

My 8-year old nephew, BT, was baptized on Saturday. It really is a lovely ceremony, and because he was the only kid in his ward being baptized, his family were the ones giving the talks (on the importance and responsibilities of baptism, from his Dad...who cried the whole time, and the Holy Ghost, from my Dad who also cried), providing the music (My Mom played the piano and sister-in-law S led the music), to those who served as official witnesses (Grandpa and an uncle), to the actual baptizing (his Dad, N). BT looked so handsome in his little white jumpsuit, staring up at the speakers with rapt attention. God, I love that little boy!

Afterward, we headed over to their house for a luncheon and good family togetherness... yummy food and good conversation...all in all it was a well-spent Saturday. Conspicuously missing from this Very Important Occasion were J&M. Of course, her heart wasn’t softened by the whole damn family turning up to celebrate her birthday. To excuse his absence, J claimed he had injured his ankle and could barely walk. Our thoughts were summed up by my youngest brother, “He obviously hurt his ankle wading through all her bullshit.” Amen to that.

Hell in a Handbasket

I have a sister-in-law; she is offended when there is no cause and she takes it out in melodramatic fashion. She holds it against the entire family, including, unfortunately her husband and children.

Things had been going well for quite a while, but everyone was on edge expecting her usual self to spring out an any moment. It happened the third week of July. She was offended over something incredibly stupid (and benign...trust me, everyone I've talked to agrees there was no cause for her reaction). She stood up, took the baby and sat in their car to finish feeding him. Then, she stormed back into the house, threw little Mitch into his car seat and spit out, "Tell J to call me when he's ready to come home!" She then peeled out of the driveway and sped off in a cloud of dust, leaving her husband and two other children at my folk's and the rest of us dumbfounded.

Since that day she has not attended a single family activity. She refuses to let my Mom celebrate her birthday and she has withheld little Mitch from us.

Her birthday was yesterday and I undertook a project to take a gift to her. I called my sibs and most everyone said they would come. Families are Forever after all. The planning was going along swimmingly until Sunday night. Sunday, I stopped over at my folk's and J was there with the older two kids. ML, who is *almost* 9, and K who is 3. We spent quite a while laughing and joking around the kitchen table before K went in to pound on the piano and I went to watch the Yankees pull out a victory. (Sadly, only to lose the next game...cry, cry, cry.)

I was watching the game when K suddenly stopped playing and said, "You know what?"

"What?" I answered.

"My Mom said I can't give you hugs and kisses anymore."

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?

There are many reasons I am going to Hell, but using a 3 year old as a weapon...is not one of them.

I still took her over a birthday gift (mostly because I didn't want to explain a cancellation to my sibs), but I told my folks that she will rot in hell and I am done trying to make her feel like family. I. AM. DONE.

5 Things

1-Congratulations to B&K who welcomed their first baby (a boy with lots of blond hair) Monday, October 3rd at 5:30-ish p.m.

2-A rainbow was spotted on Tuesday, thereby giving me at least another year before being swept down to hell.

3-I missed the fist 20 minutes of Lost and now I'm lost, and was that Adawale Akinnuoye-Agbaje looking menacingly down into the pit? Yes, yes it was!

4-Go Yankees!

5-Happy 19th Birthday (yesterday) to my youngest brother, A-M.

Lunch, In Style

Every October the Delta Center holds a luncheon for their suite-holders where they roll out the menu for the upcoming (basketball) season, and while I don’t have a suite, I know someone who does. So, I was invited along for the party.

The food was excellent (as always); especially the new Southwest Chicken, exhibition guacamole, pork ribs, and, my personal favorite, the bananas foster. Oh sweet nectar of the Gods, Bananas Foster! The bananas foster….they made up for 2 people at my table winning prizes (one of which was 2 tickets on Delta airlines) and me winning nothing.

I’m already angling for an invite to next year’s shin dig.

Lights Out!

My power went out around 7:30 am this morning, so I am at working with my hair pulled into a pony tail and my makeup looking (hopefully not too much) like I work for the circus.

Congratulations!

K&S (aka T2) are expecting their first child in April. Great news for a great brother and sister-in-law! I'm hoping for a little girl.

Blind Date SLC

So, I had a blind date last night, and it was....okay. He was a nice enough, but we do NOT have anything in common. Dating sucks! This is exactly why it took me so long to finally be done with TRB. All the crap you have to go through to get to know someone; lots of false starts and bad dates before you find even a possibility. But, like I said, he was a nice guy; I got dinner at a nice restaurant. At least it's something, right?

Thanks to Ana for being my "safe" person. You know, the person who will call the police if you don't show up the next day. She promised to call and tell the police I was locked in a trunk or dumped in a ditch if I didn't email her last night.

5 Things

1-I have an interview with the "Practice" job tomorrow...I'd say wish me luck, but they would need a spectacular offer for me to change jobs.

2-KW is suggesting that I spend a week in Mexico, walking the beach and getting a tattoo.

3-I joined a dating service have had some interest; it's been a little confidence boost.

4-I found the perfect gift(s) for my newest niece...due on Christmas Eve.

5-I drove around my neighborhood Sunday night (I live at the front of the subdivision and generally don't have a reason to go farther than my street) and there are currently 15 (15!) homes for sale. I don't think this bodes well for selling the house...although I would be the first house potential buyers see.

50 Books Update

I finished The Confessor by Daniel Silva. I really like this series (although I'm reading it all out of order) about an assassin for the Israeli "CIA". It is refreshing to read "thrillers" that aren't about the USA vs Russia or the Mid-East. The other novels featuring art restorer/spy Gabriel Allon are being added to my list. 401 pages


39/50 14080/15000

Speaking of Signals

...And sister catalog Art and Artifact,

I really, really want these, and these, and these

Great Flood of 2005

Last night I pulled into my garage a little after 10:00, tired and wanting to watch the 1st episode of LOST while lying in bed drinking a lovely beverage. I trudged in the back door, a little annoyed because lights had been left on, sorted the mail onto the table and noted that my little eggling herbs from Signals (my favorite magazine in the whole, wide world) needed water. Walking over to the sink, I felt my feet shoot out from beneath me, luckily managing to catch myself from falling by grabbing the edge of the sink. It was wet; I slowly looked down. I was ankle-deep in suds oozing from beneath my dishwasher.

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! MOTHERFUCKING, SHIT, GODDAMN IT!

I ran upstairs to grab towels; my roommate was playing a computer game. “Were you aware there is a flood in the kitchen?” I asked.

Towels in hand, I ran back downstairs and starting mopping; hoping against hope that suds were all I’d find. Alas, once cleared, water continued seeping from beneath the dishwasher. I found the phone and dialed my parent’s number. They have a wet/dry vacuum that, if necessary, I could use to suck up the water tonight and worry about calling a plumber tomorrow. Busy signal, busy signal, busy signal.

Then I tried my brother. He spent most of his life as a punk-ass kid, but marriage has definitely changed him. He is wonderful. Now 10:45 the phone rang and rang and rang. Shit! He’s already in bed. I hung up and went back to mopping.

My phone rings and I hear his groggy voice saying, “Did you need something?”

I am near tears because at this point I can see the water soaking into the wood cabinets and underneath the kitchen vinyl. It is the last straw; couldn’t this have waited until I sold the dump? Now I’ll have killer mold. I’m actually sitting on the floor trying to unscrew the kick guard thing to see how bad it is underneath.

“Do you want me to come over? I can stop at the ‘rents and get the Shopvac.”

Do you see why he is so wonderful?! He got up, stopped at my folks and then drove over to Cow Town, USA in the middle of the night to fix my dishwasher! He even brought over a big fan to help dry everything out. He pulled the whole thing apart in the MIDDLE of the night so that I would be able to sleep without worrying.

Turns out, it was nothing major, Thank God! My roommate had decided to wash out an empty dish soap bottle in the dishwasher. The additional (and it being the wrong kind) of soap was more than it could handle.

He is coming back over tonight to reinstall everything (now that it’s all dry) and make sure it won’t leak again. That my friends is one AWESOME brother!

Literally

A girl in one of my classes at the SA Conference this weekend felt impressed to share...a lot. She would literally use literally at least twice per sentence. It was so incredibly, literally, distracting. I literally wanted to say, “I don’t think you know what literally means, so you should literally look it up, you know, in the literal dictionary.”

lit•er•al•ly
Pronunciation: 'li-t&-r&-lE, 'li-tr&-lE, 'li-t&r-lE
Function: adverb
1 : in a literal sense or manner : ACTUALLY

The Plan in Action

So, the second phase of the ch-ch-change (CCC) went okay. I attended the Conference, though not as much of it as originally planned. It was, as predicted, overwhelmingly women...which really doesn’t do anything to further my plan, but may be a good resource in the future. There was some good information presented and possibly enough there to hold my interest in continued participation.

One of my roommates announced Saturday that she would be moving out at the first of the month. I told her she was welcome to move whenever she’d like, but her contract required a 30 day written notice, with rent and utilities to be paid through the termination date. She wanted me to waive the requirement (citing high gas prices and her commute), but unfortunately I had to be the big, bad landlord and require the 30 days notice. Those situations are where it is so hard to be both roommate and landlord. However, I also have bills to pay and gas to buy, so please take some responsibility for being a grown up and read the contract you signed! This announcement has moved up CCC Phase 1 (selling the house) to right now. I’m putting it on the market hopefully this month, and we’ll just wait and see if it sells.

CCC Phase 3 kicked into action today when I applied for a new job. Not sure if I’d really take it, but I consider it “practice”. This left me calling all my old job references to make sure I could still use them, and that they would still say nice things about me. One reference, KW, I hadn’t spoken to for a couple of years. Man, I forgot how much I missed him. I haven’t laughed so hard in quite some time. KW is also the only man I’ve ever met who actually looks good (damn good!) in tight Wrangler jeans.

Other news includes:

My nephew, little Erki Nool, had minor surgery to put tubes in his ears. He came out cranky, but otherwise okay. Baruch Hashem.

A (business) lunch meeting with a really cute guy who turned out to be engaged *sigh*,

I finally got around to cleaning out my closet and donating 2 big bags of (hardly or never before) worn clothes to Deseret Industries, and

An exhausting phone call with TRB where I told him I was too tired to do this and I just couldn’t work up enough emotion to even care anymore and that after 4 years I was done, just done.

Pretty exciting, eh?

A Great Man

I remember my parents had an old dusty copy of The Murderers Among Us laying around the house. Intrigued by its title, I read it when I was 11. It was the first really powerful account of the Holocaust that I had been exposed to. It made Simon Wiesenthal a personal hero of mine.

He was truly a great man and many will lament his passing. May his work and his memory live on.

Happy Birthday!

To my nephew, Erki Nool! Happy 1st Birthday!

50 Books Update

I've finished:

Hunting Fear and Chill of Fear by Kay Hooper. The first 2 of the trilogy that focuses on the Special Crimes Unit of the FBI where all of the agents have some sort of psychic ability. I really liked them both, although, Chill of Fear scared the be-jeebers out of me. *shudder* I'll definitely be reading the 3rd book (when it is available) and I'll probably go back and read some of her earlier work. 352 and 336 pages, respectively.

Currently Reading:
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
The Confessor

38/50 13679/15000

Happy Birthday!

To my nephew *B*! He's a whole 8 years old!

Ch-Ch-Changes

I’ve decided to make some big changes in my life in the coming months. I’ve thought about them long and hard. I think they will be beneficial. For example, I’m putting my house up for sale in February/March.

I bought the house for many reasons, but the one I regret is that I let TRB talk me into it. Don’t get me wrong, I was buying a house regardless, but he persuaded me to buy in that neighborhood and was involved in the whole process. Now, the house is tainted with his memory...reminders of him and how unhappy I was with him.

He is not the only reason I’m selling. The house is a lot of work, upkeep can be expensive, I want to be closer to work, I plain ole don’t need a house that big, etc.
I was originally planning on staying there another couple of years and if circumstances dictate, I will default back to that plan, but in the meantime, it certainly doesn’t hurt to be looking ahead.

A second decision involves moving on without TRB. Evidenced by his nickname, he was a mistake...a very long, drawn-out, costly mistake. I finally feel a need to be completely free of him and the baggage between us. So, in the spirit of that decision I’ve decided to start (slowly) participating in a Single Adult (31-45) Group sponsored by the LDS Church. My first step is attending a Regional Conference this weekend. I figure 1 afternoon, 3 classes and a fireside will not exactly kill me. I am told that a lot of participants aren’t particularly religious, but like me, have a difficult time finding other single folks their age.

Third, I’ve renewed my job search. I am growing increasingly frustrated in my current position, and again, it won’t hurt anything to look around and see what is out there.

Potentially all major changes, but I think they’ll be good for me.

*Update*

Due to overwhelming response the Utah Hurricane Help Hot Line has been disconnected. They have far more help than they ever imagined. If you would still like to contribute, please donate to

The American Red Cross
The United Way

If you would just like to get involved and volunteer for any non-profit organization go here.

50 Books Update

I've finished:

The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
A story set in the 1960's south. A young girl runs away from an abusive father after breaking her black "nanny" out of jail for spitting at some white men. She heads to Tiburon, the only clue she has about her mother. I thought it was a heartfelt, touching, honest look at the South and how love can cross any racial lines. 336 pages

Rage by Jonathon Kellerman
The latest in his Alex Delaware series. It was pretty much what I've come to expect from him. I was, however, disappointed in the resolution. 384 pages

36/50 12991/15000

Happy Birthday

To my nephew, *K*! He's 5 today!

Hurricane Katrina

I cannot count the tears I've shed while watching the news this week. Seeing all those who are stranded, sick, the total devastation of not only New Orleans, but Bixoli, Mississippi and other cities and towns along the gulf.

I saw one family who had written on what was left of their roof, "HELP, DIABETIC" My dad is diabetic and I cannot possibly imagine watching him slip into a diabetic coma because insulin has to be refrigerated. Waiting and praying that someone will airlift him out before I watch him die.

I cannot count the times I've shouted and questioned and argued about the slow response time. Why wasn't there a plan and if we had a plan why did it take so long to implement it?

Govenor Jon Huntsman, Jr. announced that refugees will be sent to Utah; we will welcome them with open arms and help them begin the process of healing and rebuilding.

If you'd like to help donate time, money, or supplies to the RED CROSS. If you live in Utah and would like to help the survivors coming to Camp Williams call 866-873-2437 or email katrinavolunteers@utah.gov.

7 Things...

From Erin:

Things I Plan to Do Before I Die:
Learn to cook
Be completely out of debt
Travel the U.S.
Live in the South
Visit the best art museums around the world
Learn how to be “handy” around the house
Go back to church


Things I Can Do
Read really fast
Give good advice
Keep a Secret
Budget my money
Organize
Show compassion
Be really, fiercely loyal


Things I Can Not Do
Be Patient
Forgive
Sew
Cook
Stick to a budget
Sing
Dance


Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex
Intelligent
Knowledgeable (not the same thing)
Funny
He can cook
Confident (and a little aggressive)
Knows when to say he’s sorry (and more importantly when not to)
Nice arms (muscled, but not vein-y)


Things I Say Most Often
That’s what I’m talkin’ about
Well, okay then
That’s interesting
Whatever!
You know?
That’s unfortunate
He/She/They/You are a nutcake

Celebrity Crushes:
Bradley Cooper
Derek Jeter
Dean Winters
Bradley Whitford
Phil Keoghan
Matthew McCaunahey
Victor Garber

31 Things That Make Me Happy

24-The Daily Press Release for the 2006 Torino Winter Olympics (170 days away)

25-Really starting to form a plan for selling my house and moving downtown (even if it is a 3 year plan)

26-The new Cabelas. (Let me explain, I am not an outdoor enthusiast. In fact, I am quite allergic to the out-of-doors although I don’t hold it against Mother Nature and appreciate all she offers us. So, when a new store opens up with their own mountain, stream, fish pond, animal exhibits, etc. and I am left to think, “All the pleasure of the great outdoors, but I’m INSIDE!” If this isn’t God smiling on me, then I don’t know what is.”

27-Pictures of the great adventure to Minnesota (or was it Minnissippi or Missisota...my 3 year old niece was a tad confused.)

28-My “little” sister’s 30th Birthday Celebration...heehee, now she’s old, too

29-My 5-year-old nephew whispering (his eyes shining with excitement), “I start school tomorrow.”

30-Ellie by InsideOut

31-Dove Caramels with the inspiration saying inside

50 Books Update

I finally (and on my 3rd try) finished Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. I have to say that despite having to check it out from the library 3 times to finish it, I quite enjoyed it. An almost 80 preacher is dying and decides to write a letter to his 7 year old son detailing what kind of man his father was. My biggest problem was there were no chapters, no easy stopping points...and all the religion and theology (which I found absolutely fascinating, but still) made me very sleepy. So, it took a long time to get through it. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed it and agreed with a lot of the theological observations. Also it won the Pulitzer Prize, so you don't have to take my recommendation. 256 pages

I just now finished The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. You'll remember I whole-heartedly recommend its sequel A Hat Full of Sky recently. I love the Nac Mac Feegle (They're small. They're blue. And nobody messes with them.) and think there should be many novels written about them and their exploits with the big wee hag, Tiffany Aching. 375 pages.

Next up, The Secret Life of Bees

34/50 12271/15000

I'm done

There are times in my life where all I can think is, "I'm done. I'm tired."

Times where I no longer have the energy to deal with what fate has conspired to throw at me. Times where nothing seems to matter enough to get excited, passionate about. Where I just want a little bit of peace; when I, for once, want it to be all about me. When friends and family stop bothering me with all their problems and concerns and listen to mine. Where they'll call and just say, "Let's go out to dinner, or a movie" or something, anything. When they'll drop their children and husbands for ONE LOUSY night and let me be their biggest concern.

I have fallen into the role of being strong and solving problems for everyone around me, but today, I'm done. I want someone to be strong for me; I want someone to solve my problems. I don't want to play anymore; I'm done.

31 Things That Make Me Happy

16-Little Stevie Oldfield’s movie reviews

17-Hearing the Cathedral bells when I'm leaving for lunch

18-Meeting my sister’s best friend from college. (Great sense of humor and loves to read!)

19-Getting my very 1st cell phone (I’m way behind, I know, but I just hate the idea of people being able to reach me anywhere. This one is for emergencies only!)

20-New pictures of an out-of-state friends 14-month old boy...such a cutie

21-Finding my relaxation tape so I’m sleeping well at night again

22-Old, unique beautiful architecture and the personality of downtown

23-Dinner at Pizza Factory with my sister

50 Books Update

The first time I read Terry Pratchett I was less than enthusiastic. It was a book about bending time, in fact, the title completely escapes me. So, when I started seeing A Hat Full of Sky on other’s “50 Books” lists I was understandably under whelmed.

While visiting my local library last week, there it was in the “New Release” display. I picked it up read the description and being in between books actually on my list thought, “Well it won’t kill me to read it.”

So, I took it home and started reading. Within 5 pages I was hooked. Turns out, I do like Terry Pratchett.

Do you remember how I’ve lamented that I’ve yet to find a book I would whole-heartedly recommend to everyone I meet? This is it. I loved the Wee Free Men and think nasty, thieving, drinking, fighting, fiercely loyal, completely amusing fairies with a rough edged brogue should be in every book! Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! 278 pages

32/50 11645/15000

Update

3 cracked ribs, lots of bruises and an amazing emotional toll. Mine are home, safe, basically intact.

The young mother did have a pulse, the baby (3 weeks old) was unhurt. Thank God for small favors. Unfortunately, one family cannot say that tonight.

Images

"She doesn't have a pulse; I can't find a pulse! Oh, God, there's a baby. Oh my God! There's a baby!" screams the voice on the phone.

"What! Where are you! What happened!" I yell back.

"We were in a car crash, at least 12 cars, at least 2 fatalities."

"Are you okay? Are you guys alright?"

The next 2 hours are a blur of frantic phone calls, voice mail messages, and confusion.

My guys are all alive, but I'm shaken by the image of a young mother with no pulse, her baby unconscious in the back seat. I can't imagine the pain of those who were there.

31 Things That Make Me Happy

11-Air conditioning

12-Purple Turtle pink sauce

13-My 3-year-old niece exclaiming, “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” as she fits the next piece into her Sesame Street puzzle.

14-“The Bunny” song from Veggie Tales sing-a-long

15-Planning a quick getaway to St. George to Tuacahn and Ancestor Square.

50 Books Update

I finished re-reading Trace by Patricia Cornwell. There will be a new Scarpetta book out this fall and I wanted to refresh my memory. Again, it is lacking when compared to her early work, but a much needed improvement from her more recent projects. No werewolves in sight, Thank God! 448 pages

31/50 11367/15000

Peach Cherry

Last night, I stopped over at my folk’s house to chat and hear the happenings of the day. While there, an old family friend (I hadn’t seen him in years) stopped by to chat. He is enormously talented in music, film and poetry. He spent most of his life producing the LDS Church’s films.

When we were little, he would show up now and then with a projector, his latest movie, and a variety of candy and treats for us little ones. We would spread a blanket on the living room floor, pop popcorn and watch movies, projected onto the wall. Then, he would pull out his latest songs and play the piano and sing with us. Those were some of the best times of my life. Clear, happy memories from my childhood...most of them involve “Peach Cherry”.

“Peach Cherry” (whose name we could not pronounce when we were small and so he was christened “Peach Cherry”) was born in either Poland or Germany (the borders have long been disputed) shortly before World War II. His family fled the Nazi invasion and fortunately made it to the U.S. Once grown, he risked everything again to smuggle Church and other literature behind the Iron Curtain. I always knew this, but never really appreciated the significance until last night.

Last night, 3 of the nubbins were at the house and someone made mention that all the cousins have someone their age to play with. “Peach Cherry” simply said, “That’s great. We sort of lost everyone, what with the death camps, the refugee camps and everything.” He said it so casually, but it really hit me hard. Something I always knew about him, but never thought about the reality of living through it.

An amazing man, truly one of the most amazing people I have ever been blessed to meet.

31 Things That Make Me Happy

4-My Mom’s Chicken Salad

5-Listening to old answering machine messages of my (then) 18 month old niece saying my name for the first time and a message from my (then) 3 year old nephew that say, “Hi Caoimhe, Happy Berff-day!”

6-Watching Wait Until Dark late at night; scaring myself to death in the process.

7-The Space Shuttle Discovery landing safely and the Russian submarine being rescued without casualties.

8-Finding out nubbin #10 will be a girl.

9-A visit from “Peach Cherry”

10-The Ghiradelli chocolate a co-worker brought me from her trip to San Francisco.

31 Things That Make Me Happy!

Thanks to Stephanie for bringing this to my attention; I'll be updating throughout August.

1-New Books (and recommendations for new books)

2-When PBS airs “A Hot Dog Program” (I don’t even like hot dogs; I haven’t eaten one in at least 20 years, and yet, when this program is on...I start thinking about planning a trip to the great hot dogs joints around the country.)

3-Listening to this!

5 Things

1- Delta has revamped their entire website and now I can’t find ANYTHING! They really should have consulted with me about this.

2- My roommate called off the wedding that was scheduled for Thursday. I don’t really know much about the specifics, but I’m glad they figured it out 5 days before rather than 5 days after.

3-I got a letter form a former employer who we shall refer to as “Satan’s Summer Home”. They apparently had taken Social Security taxes out of the paychecks, shall-we-say, illegally. That, of course, is not the language they used, but still. Anyway, since they didn’t figure it out until now, I am only eligible for the refund of 9 months of 2002. This means I lost thousands of dollars for the previous years I worked for them. They also want me to wait 6 months to a year before they’ll refund the money. I talked to the HR person and she says I can file a refund myself, if I’d like. I’m going to ask them to also reimburse me the cost of hiring someone to prepare that return. Does anybody have any experience with this? Can anyone tell me how far I can push this and what I can demand? Obviously, I didn’t leave on good terms and would really like to get my money as fast as possible while making them as miserable as possible.

4- I replaced all four tires in May, and sadly, drove over a nail on Sunday and it went straight through the sidewall. It cost another $55 to replace the nail-punctured tire. Grrr! I hate stuff like that. Good thing my roommate isn’t moving out and I’ll still have the extra money. *yay*

5-I am half-heartedly looking for a new job and check the Federal Government site every now and then. On the homepage they display a picture of a happy federal employee and, I admit, I have a crush on one of them. I think they should list his stats so I can find a job with that department.

Rainbow Alert

I attended an intermediate Excel seminar yesterday, and I probably should have skipped straight to advanced. Nothing was covered that I hadn't already done, but more than that...one of the attendees was shockingly inexperienced.

Seriously, she didn't know about sort or filter; she didn't know about formulas, or linking worksheets and workbooks. She was completely lost. Every time, we would cover something she'd end up lost, "Could you go over that one more time, please?"

The most annoying part of the whole situation, was that she introduced herself be saying, "I'm Terra, and I, um, actually have taught the Excel basic course."

That my friends, would be one scary-ass, meaningless course. One the bright side, the instructor was fairly knowledgeable and scattered some very usefule tips and shortcuts throughout the day. That plus a nice, shiny certificate made it all worthwhile.

Unfortunately, I also ate lunch at a *questionable* Mexican restaurant and was most definitely experiencing some regret later that evening. They did, however, have a lovely water feature adjacent to the patio dining.

50 Books Update

I just finished reading The Finishing School by Muriel Spark. It took me a very long time to read measly 181 page book. Enough said.

30/50 10919/15000

O! Pioneer!

Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
‘Tis better far for us to strive
Our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hears will swell—
All is well! All is well!

Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
‘Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we’ll have this tale to tell—
All is well! All is well!

We’ll find the place which God for us prepared,
Far away in the West,
Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;
There the Saints will be blessed.
We’ll make the air wit music ring,
Shout praises to out God and King;
Above the rest these words we’ll tell—
All is well! All is well!

And should we die before our journey’s through,
Happy day! All is well!
We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;
With the just we shall dwell!
But if our lives are spared again
To see the Saints their rest obtain,
Oh, how we’ll make this chorus swell—
All is well! All is well!

--William Clayton, LDS Hymns #326

“It is enough. This is the right place...”

--Brigham Young upon entering the valley July 24, 1847



I am eternally humbled and grateful to those who suffered great persecution and sacrificed everything to make the 3 month trek across the country to make this desert bloom. They married, gave birth, and buried loved ones along the trail. Their strength, their faith, will always be remembered and appreciated.

p.s. Happy Birthday, Dad!

Quote of the Day

The life that conquers is the life that moves with a steady resolution and persistence toward a predetermined goal. Those who succeed are those who have thoroughly learned the immense importance of plan in life, and the tragic brevity of time.
- W.J. Davison

5 Things

1-I'm with Erin. I got my (pre-ordered from Amazon) copy of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on Saturday afternoon and was all finished by Sunday night. I enjoyed it far more that Order of the Phoenix and currently don't think I'll be able to wait for the conclusion to this story! I am still in disbelief at the ending, surely Ms. Rowling will figure out how to bring a certain someone back from the dead?! Please?! 672 pages

2-Speaking of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I re-read it last week, finishing mere moments before Half Blood Prince arrived in my mailbox. I found the second complete reading much more enjoyable than the first. I made the mistake of reading a review that ruined the whole book. Now knowing the complete story I wasn't so concentrated on what Dumbledore was going to tell Harry about his future. 870 pages

3-Alias: Season 4



is now available for pre-order on Amazon

4-Also, now available for pre-order is my favorite reality (and winner of several Emmy's) The Amazing Race.
Now there are no excuses not to watch it!

5-My getting-married-in-August-roommate had a bridal shower on Saturday. I bought a 5-game lawn set (badminton, booce, horseshoes, flying disk, something else). She loved it! She told me later that of everything on her registry she was really hoping to get that. So, I'm feeling prett good about choosing to buck the "crockpot trend".


29/50 10738/15000

B-I-N-G-O!

More BINGO last night. To add some humor (at least, I thought it was funny)every time 69 was called I would mutter "Dirty!" just loud enough for those sitting next to me to here.

Because I was playing with an ultra-LDS crowd, not very many people got the joke, but you could see the ones who did choke back a laugh.

5 Things

1- Porkfest 2005 was an astonishing success again this year. Although, some people *Nate* still have scars from jumping through fountain fireworks. It was a nice, peaceful day with a lot of sitting around on the new porch sing watching the cat be sick repeatedly. Even the sister-in-law who is generally not-so-fun to be around was lovely and friendly.

2-Steel Days--the American Fork city celebration was last weekend. Although the City Elders have repeatedly tried to change the name (especially since a large portion of the Geneva Steel Mill was razed last week--everyone still refers to Steel Days. The fireworks were spectacular, and the carnival was enjoyable. We were able to determine that one of the - year-old nieces is definitely more "spectator" material than "participant" as she would loudly proclaim she was scared and she wanted to get off every ride she attempted (including the train and carousel). While the other 3-year-old niece is definitely a roller coaster kind of gal. My best little nephew was just thrilled that I bought him cotton candy.

3-My folks (along with my Mom's brother & sister and their families) are up camping at "The Dell" this week...and while I'm not so much of a camping kind of girl I do go up and spend the evenings. The evenings, you see, are filled with ultra-competitive games of BINGO...complete with prizes.

4-I just caught bits and pieces of Average Joe and I am literally sick about the behavior of the "jocks". Guys, a tip especially for you. Being a bully is not attractive to anyone who counts. Being a jackass is not attractive to anyone who counts. Thinking you are "better-than-ezra" (an old family phrase) is not attractive to anyone who counts. In fact, displaying these characteristics will, in general, lead people who spend time with you to view you as less attractive, regardless of how drop-dead gorgeous you actually are.

5-I finished In the Shadow of the Ark by Anne Provoost. A very provocative view of Noah in the days before, during and after the flood. Was he really a prophet or just a nut case? Were they any more righteous than the others? I know what I believe, but it is interesting to have a different view presented. 368 pages

I started Finishing School, but have abandoned it in favor of hurriedly re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix before book 6 gets here on Saturday.

27/50 9196/15000

Stereotypical? Yes. Fairly Accurate? Yes.

You Know You're From Utah When...

Green jell-o with carrots mixed in doesn't seem strange. You can pronounce Tooele. The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y. You have actually eaten funeral potatoes. You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month. You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot". Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom. Hunting season is a school holiday. The largest liquor store is the state government. You can go skiing and play golf on the same day. 30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. Somewhere in your family tree is a polygamist. You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'. The elevation exceeds the population You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you You can see the stars at night You have a bumper sticker that says "Families are Forever." You were an aunt or uncle before you were three. Your spouse's mother was pregnant at your wedding. You have more children than you can find biblical names for. Your family considers a trip to McDonald'd a night out.. Your first child was conceived on your honeymoon. You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football. Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday. You drink Coke from a brown paper bag. You consider a temple recommend a credit reference. At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors. You believe that you must be 18 or older to order coffee at a restaurant. You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway. There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots. You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer. You negotiate prices at a garage sale. You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe. You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting. You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times. Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal. A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election. Cars in the slow lane are traveling the fastest; cars in the fast lane are traveling the slowest; cars in the middle lanes are always trying to exit. Sandals are the best-selling shoes. You have to ask for the uncensored version of "Titanic." Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon. You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore. You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school. You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth. You're on your own if you are turning left. Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but close for the opening of hunting season. People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees. There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing. The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift. People drive to Idaho (or Arizona) to pick up a gallon of milk so they can play the lottery. In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl. Beer drinkers don't shop on Sunday. You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside a building. The cost of living rises while your salary drops. Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck. When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but gun and ski racks are standard. Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher. Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction. "Temple recommends" is acceptable identification for cashing a check. More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood. You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door. Your neighbors complain about where they live, yet refuse to return to the state they moved from. You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception. You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries. Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall. Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie. You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen. You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million. You think "You're a 10 cow wife" is a compliment. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.

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Compassion

Several years ago I read a book by John Douglas, former FBI "profiler". One of the chapters was about a young woman who was brutally murdered while jogging around the army base where she faithfully served. I specifically remember a quote from her father that I found particulary comforting and hopeful (I'm paraphrasing):

God has given all men free will, and having given that gift he will not interfere. He cannot stay the hand nor stop the bullet, but he is there as a source of never ending compassion, understanding and strength...to comfort those who remain and sweep the departed into his loving arms...

As I have dealt with tragedy in my own life and now as we reach out to the people of London it is important to remember that we cannot always stay the hand nor stop the bullet (or bomb) but we can be a never ending source of compassion, understanding and strength to those who lost loved ones.

Tom Cruise is Nuts!

Of course, Tom's legal eagle's are already threatening to sue the creators of the website...obviously ignoring the fact that currently their client does appear to be quite nuts!

The website mentions the fact that each of Tom's wives (past and future) have been 11 years younger than the last (Mimi Rogers, b 1956; Nicole Kidman, b 1967; and Katie Holmes, b 1978). Somebody better warn the 16 year old girls out there that in 5 years Tom will be trolling for a new wife.

50 Books Summary

I finished The Kills by Linda Fairstein over the weekend. Probably the best way to describe it would be: confusing. There were far too many primary and secondary characters, a chaotic timeline and plot and the ending was complete let-down after having endured the novel. Not something I’d recommend. 400 pages

Currently Reading: In the Shadow of the Ark by Anne Provoost

I’ve also added more books to my list bringing the grand total to 61 books, obviously some of these I won’t get to this year...

Finished:
1-102 Minutes
2-4th of July
3-Alone
4-Between a Rock and a Hard Place
5-Blood Memory
6-Broken Prey
7-The Broker
8-Conspiracy Club
9-Eats, Shoots and Leaves
10-Enders Shadow
11-The Final Solution
12-Getting Away with Murder
13-The House on Mango Street
14-Hubener vs Hitler
15-I Am Charlotte Simmons
16-The Ice Queen
17-Irish Cream
18-The Kills
19-The Kite Runner
20-Mississippi Trial, 1955
21-The Murder Book
22-No Place Like Home
23-Prince of Fire
24-Therapy
25-Touching the Void
26-Vanishing Acts

Currently Reading:
27-In the Shadow of the Ark

On the List:
28-1000 Best laces to See Before You Die
29-10th Grade
30-A Thread of Grace
31-Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
32-Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Agent
33-Brooklyn Dreams
34-Cry Me a River
35-The Dancer Upstairs
36-Day of the Jackal
37-The Egyptologist
38-Factoring Humanity
39-Finishing School
40-Gilead
41-Gulag: A History
42-Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
43-The Historian
44-If Grace is True
45-Ireland: A Novel
46-Ishmael
47-Johnny Got His Gun
48-The Known World
49-Lullaby
50-Moonshadow
51-My Jim
52-My Life in Orange
53-The Pacific and Other Stories
54-Practical Demon Keeping
55-The Princes of Ireland
56-Rage
57-The Rescue Artist
58-Smashed
59-The Ninth Life of Louis Drax
60-Wigfield: The Can Do Town that Just May Not
61-Wolves Eat Dogs

26/50 8828/15000

Deep Breaths

Just keep reciting that over and over, it is only a short 30 days, just get through the next 30 days. She will be gone and you won’t have to worry about coming home to find the doors unlocked, the garbage just sitting by the back door (instead of in the can outside), watching J & B play house in your house, 30 days and it will be back to normal.

No more loud, obnoxious giggling late at night, no more hearing that truly annoying cell phone ring, followed by long conversations RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM DOOR, no more schmoopy, sappy (but oddly never hearing I love you), conversations. There will be no more moving my stuff, using my stuff without permission, no more breaking of vacuums and other household appliances. That will be B’s problem if you can hold out for just 30 days.

It will be sweet, sweet peace, if only you take deep breaths and keep reciting, “Only 30 days, only 30 days...”

There Ain't No Doubt...

...that standing with my hand over my heart singing the "Star Spangled Banner" will make me cry

...that Tom Cruise is free to be an asshole

...that men and women freely volunteer to risk their lives to protect mine

...that my family will spend today together

...that the American Dream is still alive and being pursued

...that no books are banned and I can read, write and learn about anything I'd like

...that I can be a single woman with a career and own property

Yes, there ain't no doubt I love this land. God Bless the U.S.A.!!!

Happy 4th of July!

From Erin

Go take the survey and make some science!

50 Books Update

I've finished:

No Place Like Home by Mary Higgins Clark. It was...a Mary Higgins Clark book. The lead character is a woman in trouble (an interior designer this time, who is strong, intelligent and tries to handle everything by herself. Of course this leads to her (and her young son) nearly being murdered because she didn't go the the obvious "good guy" for help. If you like Mary Higgins Clark, you'll like this book, but it is pretty formulaic. 384 pages

Broken Prey by John Sandford. I read this in one sitting, so obviously it held my attention. It was much like the previous Lucas Davenport books, fun, interesting, mysterious, but not the great novel I'd like to run across this year. 400 pages

I was reading Gilead, but ran short of both interest and time. It was overdue at the library, so back it went. I'll give it another try soon.

Currently reading:
The Kills by Linda Fairstein

25/50 8428/15000

I thought it was closer to 100%

Your Deadly Sins

Wrath: 60%

Envy: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Greed: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23%

You will die, but first you will turn into an evil robot.

How Sinful Are You?

I've been extraordinarily busy lately. We moved to a new office across the valley, I seriously injured my back, and the Rat Bastard struck again. Hopefully, I'll soon have time to address all these things...including the 2 books I finished.

Birthdays, Babies and Baseball

It has been a really hectic few days, but things look they'll settle down next week. Sunday was not only Father's Day, but my favorite little nephew's 5th birthday.

Saturday, he got to have a party with all his friends, and being a great Batman enthusiast, his party was Batman themed...complete with "Pin the Bat on Batman", "Bat, Bat, Joker", and Bat capes for everyone. The front door proclaimed, "Holy Cake and Ice Cream, Batman, GC is 5 years old!" He was absolutely thrilled.

Sunday, there was a family party for him. When I got there, my sister said that earlier they had been talking about who was coming and she said I was coming. To which GC replied, "Caoimhe, loves me....I know 'cause she kisses me." Ahhh, my heart melted...I do love that little guy and I'm glad he knows it!

After GC opened all his presents, it was time to present my Dad with the gift we had all bought him. (A nice new porch swing, that can be converted into a hammock.) My brother and sister-in-law (also former room mate) had another gift for Dad. It was an ultra sound framed in a white picket frame that read, Grandpa and me...baby is due on Christmas Eve. Congratulations, N & K!

Last night, I went to the Stingers game. Great seats over the visiting team dugout, right on the 3rd base line. It was a really good, exciting game. We sat next to the cutest Dad and his 2 kids. A little boy (probably 7-8) and little girl (5-6). They all brought their gloves and promised not to let a ball hit me in the face, so we became good friends fast. Watching that Dad with his kids, man, that is exactly the kind of guy I'd like to end up with.

Tomorrow I'm taking a 1/2 day off to go shooting...the first outing this summer. *yay*

50 Books Update

I finished 4th of July by James Patterson an enjoyable enough book, but not something I highly recommend. The whole plot revolving around Lindsay Boxer's civil trial was laughable. Not even JP is going to completely destroy his main character in an ongoing series (he has no compunction about killing supporting characters, but not the top dog). The ending was also a bit forced, but I have to admit I wasn't sure who all the bad guys were, and when they were revealed it was a bit of a surprise. 400 pages

Next up: Gilead by Marilyn Robinson

23/50 7644/15000

You know...just stuff

I spent Saturday at the zoo experiencing the new Elephant Encounter and Rhino exhibit. I have to say, maybe out little zoo is looking up. They built in a ground level viewing area of the rhinos with their hay spread in front of the windows, so you are literally looking into their eyes from 2 feet away. It was branded, "Cool" by both the adults and kids that went.

We also got to see the new baby orangutan (who looks exactly like my niece did when she was a baby...all eyes and arms and legs, with seriously crazy hair)who was very, very cute. My 3 year old niece was completely obsessed by which animals were the Mommy and which animals were the Daddy and where were their babies, while her almost 5 year old brother was more concerned with getting a bite of my churro and his own bag of cotton candy. The just finished 1st Grade 8 year old was super excited that he could finally read most of the signs by himself. In fact, he navigated us through the zoo with his complimentary zoo map. It was a little overcast and it did rain a little, but we still had a good time.

On the way home I discovered that my sister-in-law has never been to Wheeler Farm (Her Dad is apparently scared of all destinations north of the Point?) so our next excursion will have to include a stop there.

J&B have selected August 4th for their wedding day...that is FAST, yo, even for a Utah, Mormon wedding. I expect high stress around the homestead until then.

I finished The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman. I'm torn. It was, I thought, uneven. Very good in places, very not-so-good in others. 224 pages

I can't believe we are nearly half way through the year and I haven't read a book that made me want to recommend it whole-heartedly to anyone and everyone who would listen. I'm currently reading 4th of July by James Patterson, which I'll blow through pretty quickly. My favorite thing about J.P. books are the super short chapters. It makes the book fly by and rarely leaves a good stopping point.

I'm off to finish my popcorn with hotsauce and read a little bit. I just can't bring myself to watch any Michael Jackson coverage. It really, truly makes me sick. Child molester or not, why would ANY parent let their child spend the night at Neverland?

22/50 7244/15000

Congratulations J&B!

My roommate got engaged last night, many congratulations and good wishes.

50 Books Update

I finished The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini a couple of days ago. If you recall, I wasn't sure I wanted to read it, but I was completely sucked in. It was an extremely emotional, melancholy story permeated with sadness and hope. I loved how it brought the traditions of Afghanistan to life and reminded everyone (or maybe showed for the 1st time) how lovely the country was before the Soviet invasion, the civil war and the Taliban destroyed it. The ending was not happy, nor sad just hopeful...much like real moments throughout my life. 371 pages

I'm currently reading The Ice Queen by Alice Hoffman, a story of a woman who is struck by lighting and begins a torrid affair with another survivor. So far, so good.

For some reason all the books I had on hold at the library have come in at once so I've also got 4th of July by James Patterson and the Pulitzer Prize winning Gilead by Marilyn Robinson waiting to be read.

21/50 7020/15000

Weekend Happenings

Yesterday was quite a busy day. It started out with my brother blessing his new little one at 10:00. (The "blessing" is where a child is formally given a name to be known by on the records of the Church and throughout their lives, and to give a special blessing; those who hold the Melchezidek priesthood are invited to participate.)

My nephew asked why and how little Mitch was bouncing up and down during the blessing.

My answer: The magical power of the priesthood.

His Mom's answer: The guys each help hold the child and they kind of bounce them up and down to help prevent crying.

My answer was totally funnier than hers.

After the blessing and associated "refreshments", we headed off to Salt Lake to attend a baby shower for my cousin and his wife. We ran into a lot of traffic and barely made it before the shower was over. How is it that UDOT believes (even on a weekend) it will not cause HUGE traffic problems to close north bound I-15 down to 1 lane?! HOW? My theory: UDOT is of the devil.

Next up we met the boys at The Beehive House. This is my favorite place in all of Utah. It is the former home of Brigham Young, as well as the official residence of the territorial governor. It is remarkably well preserved and a wonderful bit of 19th century history. Several members of my family had never been there (WHAT? WHY?) so I forced them to go on the tour. If you are ever in Salt Lake, please visit. It is down South Temple from Temple Square and while the tours are now guided by LDS missionaries (instead of the Historical Society), they are fairly reserved and not to preachy. If you go make sure to note one of the earliest intercom systems and the "Fairy Castle" my 2 favorite features of the house.

On to dinner at Cafe Pierpont where 2 of my brothers took on the Super Mucho Grande Burrito Challenge and both lost pitifully.

Then the crowning glory of the day the InsideOut concert. It was 3rd Annual Last Concert ever and next year they've promised to be back, bigger and better than ever. InsideOut is 6 guys who met at BYU and formed their own group. Amazingly talented they have married and moved on to "real" careers far away from Utah (for the most part). This being the case their live performances are few and far between. They are incredibly amazing and hilarious to see in person! Their motto: Instruments are a crutch.

It was a very good day. More fun than I've had for a really long time. I'm a happy camper this weekend.

50 Books Update

I finished Ender's Shadow. I started out thinking this book was just okay, but at the end I was crying....just like in Ender's Game. 379 pages

I'm starting The Kite Runner today.

20/50 6649/15000

Happy Birthday!

To my sister who is turning 30 today....It's really not so bad.

50 Books Non-Update

How did I get behind schedule? Seriously, I should have been at 21 books and 6250 pages at the end of May. I have a *tiny* cushion on the pages read front, but 2 books behind. What happened?! I'm reading, really, but I guess just not anything all that interesting.

Currently I'm reading Ender's Shadow by Orson Scott Card. It makes me want to re-read Ender's Game as they are parallel books...taking place at the same time and place, but told from 2 different points of view. Interesting, but a little off-putting as well.

Next up, The Kite Runner which I've been wanting to read forever, but now that I actually have the book in my possession I'm not all that excited about it.

Memorial Day was quite the chilly, rainy affair. Not a lot of time spent outdoors, but it was good to see my Mom's side of the family. Plus, the sun peaked out just in time for the evening BBQ. No sunburn! I bought the new Coppertone continuous spray sunscreen, and it is awesome, y'all.

Long Weekend

Ahh, it is good to be looking at the front end of a long weekend...no big plans except hanging out with the family on Monday, finishing off the Karamel Sutra and Coffee ice cream I just bought.

The annual trek to the cemeteries will happen Monday morning (thank Heaven it won't be in the full afternoon sun this year), followed up by lunch in the park and an evening of BBQ at my folks. With luck, there will be no sunburn to report on Tuesday.

Work seems to be going a bit better and I'm cautiously optimistic that everything will work out. The most exciting thing that happened this week was getting a box of books from Amazon yesterday, and setting up a date to go shooting in June.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

50 Books Update

I finished



over the weekend. Instead of your general, run-of-the mill, USA vs Russia or USA vs Mid-East bad guys, this spy novel is about the Israeli anti-terrorist group...hunting down those who commit acts of terror against Israeli interests world-wide. There was some very insightful commentary on the Arab-Israeli conflict and why it may never be resolved. Not exactly Shakespeare, but a good piece of fiction. 384 pages.

And...I am feeling much better, although it wasn't a fun couple of days.

19/50 6304/15000